Comments on: Being Vulnerable = Strength and Courage http://www.guidingchange.org/blog/2009/07/14/strength-and-courage-vulnerability/ Guiding Transformative Change Through Insight, Inspiration, and Empowerment Sun, 18 Apr 2010 22:36:24 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: Deb http://www.guidingchange.org/blog/2009/07/14/strength-and-courage-vulnerability/comment-page-1/#comment-570 Deb Tue, 28 Jul 2009 00:18:38 +0000 http://guidingchange.org/blog/2009/07/14/strength-and-courage-vulnerability/#comment-570 Summer, Nice to hear from you. It's sad to think about how much talent and potential is lost when individuals bury their pain rather than expressing it. And, yes, it is a daily struggle because just because we find the courage one day doesn't mean the challenge is over. Thank you. Deb Summer,

Nice to hear from you. It’s sad to think about how much talent and potential is lost when individuals bury their pain rather than expressing it.

And, yes, it is a daily struggle because just because we find the courage one day doesn’t mean the challenge is over.

Thank you.

Deb

]]> By: Summer Hill Seven http://www.guidingchange.org/blog/2009/07/14/strength-and-courage-vulnerability/comment-page-1/#comment-569 Summer Hill Seven Mon, 27 Jul 2009 05:40:45 +0000 http://guidingchange.org/blog/2009/07/14/strength-and-courage-vulnerability/#comment-569 Thank you for sharing on this point. I have left many organizations in anger rather than stay and admit the hurt I have felt. Admitting the hurt felt like defeat. The one memorable exception where I did admit being hurt and stayed produced such great joy and valued relationships that I falsely believed that I had conquered the cycle...if only...it is a daily wrestling match and I find myself often walking away in anger. Yet, I continue the good fight (what choice do I really have - as long as I am human I will be hurt - if I am lucky). Thank you. Thank you for sharing on this point. I have left many organizations in anger rather than stay and admit the hurt I have felt. Admitting the hurt felt like defeat. The one memorable exception where I did admit being hurt and stayed produced such great joy and valued relationships that I falsely believed that I had conquered the cycle…if only…it is a daily wrestling match and I find myself often walking away in anger. Yet, I continue the good fight (what choice do I really have – as long as I am human I will be hurt – if I am lucky). Thank you.

]]> By: Deb http://www.guidingchange.org/blog/2009/07/14/strength-and-courage-vulnerability/comment-page-1/#comment-566 Deb Sun, 19 Jul 2009 17:04:47 +0000 http://guidingchange.org/blog/2009/07/14/strength-and-courage-vulnerability/#comment-566 Aaron, You raise an important point. Until we are able to reframe the meaning of "strength," it will serve to keep all of us from being able to be our whole selves, which includes being able to express all of our emotions. What do you think others require you to do or not do in order to be providing the "strength" others look to you for? Deb Aaron,

You raise an important point. Until we are able to reframe the meaning of “strength,” it will serve to keep all of us from being able to be our whole selves, which includes being able to express all of our emotions. What do you think others require you to do or not do in order to be providing the “strength” others look to you for?

Deb

]]> By: Aaron Estis http://www.guidingchange.org/blog/2009/07/14/strength-and-courage-vulnerability/comment-page-1/#comment-565 Aaron Estis Sun, 19 Jul 2009 16:31:46 +0000 http://guidingchange.org/blog/2009/07/14/strength-and-courage-vulnerability/#comment-565 Deb, I like how you see the interpersonal issues as impediments to organizational effectivness. You have made a good point. I believe I have allowed myself to be vulnerable, but that can sometimes be a problem when you are the father in a household and others are looking to you for strength. A balance is required. Aaron Deb,

I like how you see the interpersonal issues as impediments to organizational effectivness. You have made a good point. I believe I have allowed myself to be vulnerable, but that can sometimes be a problem when you are the father in a household and others are looking to you for strength. A balance is required.

Aaron

]]> By: Deb http://www.guidingchange.org/blog/2009/07/14/strength-and-courage-vulnerability/comment-page-1/#comment-563 Deb Wed, 15 Jul 2009 20:46:01 +0000 http://guidingchange.org/blog/2009/07/14/strength-and-courage-vulnerability/#comment-563 Maketa, Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I see what you did not as personal semantics but as reframing so as to take your actions outside the narrow limits of the existing paradigm of what is considered to be acceptable behavior for men in our society. This is what we need to do to bring about change - step outside the unnatural and limiting definitions placed on us and create our own definitions. Thanks again, Deb Maketa,

Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I see what you did not as personal semantics but as reframing so as to take your actions outside the narrow limits of the existing paradigm of what is considered to be acceptable behavior for men in our society.

This is what we need to do to bring about change – step outside the unnatural and limiting definitions placed on us and create our own definitions.

Thanks again,

Deb

]]> By: Maketa http://www.guidingchange.org/blog/2009/07/14/strength-and-courage-vulnerability/comment-page-1/#comment-562 Maketa Wed, 15 Jul 2009 20:14:56 +0000 http://guidingchange.org/blog/2009/07/14/strength-and-courage-vulnerability/#comment-562 Deborah, Thank you for sharing your insight into vulnerability. This has been a very big challenge for me - especially in my work as a facilitator/trainer, but also in my personal relationships. I resonate strongly with your belief that 'being vulnerable is a courageous act,' however in my personal process I have struggled with the idea of 'being vulnerable' because for me it suggests that I have to give up my personal power for the sake of connection with myself and others. Yep. Like most other men I've been twisted by the ill advised messages of what masculinity is. From my teachers I have learned that at its core, the masculine (energetic not gender) seeks to be directive and in control while the feminine (again, energetic not gender) seeks presence and being. As a strong, black man I have been taught not be vulnerable - for many reasons related to the false ideals of masculinity and historical oppression. It was not until I changed the language around my desire to connect with my own vulnerability that I was able to open myself to it. I now consciously 'ALLOW myself to be vulnerable' as this a word that lets me stay in my power and be directive of my energy while I open myself to my emotional experience. This may be simply a personal semantic, but as I align my emotional experience with my growing knowledge of true masculinity it is much easier to allow my vulnerability to be a part of my external relationship with the world. This is a HUGE topic that I know I have done little justice to here, but I want to thank you for putting our there to be explored by all. The timing was perfect for me. In the spirit of growth and authentic connectionn, ~ Maketa Deborah,

Thank you for sharing your insight into vulnerability. This has been a very big challenge for me – especially in my work as a facilitator/trainer, but also in my personal relationships. I resonate strongly with your belief that ‘being vulnerable is a courageous act,’ however in my personal process I have struggled with the idea of ‘being vulnerable’ because for me it suggests that I have to give up my personal power for the sake of connection with myself and others. Yep. Like most other men I’ve been twisted by the ill advised messages of what masculinity is.

From my teachers I have learned that at its core, the masculine (energetic not gender) seeks to be directive and in control while the feminine (again, energetic not gender) seeks presence and being.

As a strong, black man I have been taught not be vulnerable – for many reasons related to the false ideals of masculinity and historical oppression. It was not until I changed the language around my desire to connect with my own vulnerability that I was able to open myself to it.

I now consciously ‘ALLOW myself to be vulnerable’ as this a word that lets me stay in my power and be directive of my energy while I open myself to my emotional experience. This may be simply a personal semantic, but as I align my emotional experience with my growing knowledge of true masculinity it is much easier to allow my vulnerability to be a part of my external relationship with the world.

This is a HUGE topic that I know I have done little justice to here, but I want to thank you for putting our there to be explored by all. The timing was perfect for me.

In the spirit of growth and authentic connectionn,

~ Maketa

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