Comments for Guiding Change http://www.guidingchange.org/blog Evoking Insight, Clarity and New Perspectives to Energize, Empower and Inspire Wed, 02 May 2012 01:15:46 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.1.3 Comment on Take a Moment of Reflection: Deep Listening by Deb http://www.guidingchange.org/blog/2012/04/30/take-a-moment-of-reflection-deep-listening/comment-page-1/#comment-3172 Deb Wed, 02 May 2012 01:15:46 +0000 http://www.guidingchange.org/blog/?p=617#comment-3172 Toni, Blessings to you too. I love your equation. You're right. one of the simplest ways for us to show love is to listen (to others and ourselves). Love, Deb Toni,

Blessings to you too. I love your equation. You’re right. one of the simplest ways for us to show love is to listen (to others and ourselves).

Love,

Deb

]]> Comment on Take a Moment of Reflection: Deep Listening by Toni http://www.guidingchange.org/blog/2012/04/30/take-a-moment-of-reflection-deep-listening/comment-page-1/#comment-3171 Toni Tue, 01 May 2012 12:43:28 +0000 http://www.guidingchange.org/blog/?p=617#comment-3171 Dear Deb: My take-away: Listening = Love. I need more LOVE in my life. Your post illustrates how close LOVE is, at all times. Listening to my beloved husband, and listening to my feelings are two areas I will focus on today. "...we forget how soothing and magical our deep listening can be to another" Thanks for the reminder. Abundant blessings, Toni Dear Deb:

My take-away:

Listening = Love.

I need more LOVE in my life. Your post illustrates how close LOVE is, at all times. Listening to my beloved husband, and listening to my feelings are two areas I will focus on today.

“…we forget how soothing and magical our deep listening can be to another”

Thanks for the reminder.

Abundant blessings,

Toni

]]> Comment on Take a Moment of Reflection: Manifestation by Deb http://www.guidingchange.org/blog/2012/04/10/take-a-moment-of-reflection-manifestation/comment-page-1/#comment-3135 Deb Wed, 11 Apr 2012 17:14:05 +0000 http://www.guidingchange.org/blog/?p=612#comment-3135 Gary, Thanks for the great recommendation. I will check it out. Moadim Lesimcha to you as well. Love, Deb Gary,

Thanks for the great recommendation. I will check it out.

Moadim Lesimcha to you as well.

Love,

Deb

]]> Comment on Take a Moment of Reflection: Manifestation by Gary Greene http://www.guidingchange.org/blog/2012/04/10/take-a-moment-of-reflection-manifestation/comment-page-1/#comment-3134 Gary Greene Wed, 11 Apr 2012 15:30:02 +0000 http://www.guidingchange.org/blog/?p=612#comment-3134 Dear Deb, I learned a lot about attention from the Todo Institute. I even took their attention long distance learning course. You might be interested in Winifred Gallagher's book Rapt: Attention and the focused life, if you don't know about it already. One of my high holiday's sermons was on attention based upon what the book and the Institute. Moadim Lesimcha, Gary Dear Deb,
I learned a lot about attention from the Todo Institute. I even took their attention long distance learning course. You might be interested in Winifred Gallagher’s book Rapt: Attention and the focused life, if you don’t know about it already. One of my high holiday’s sermons was on attention based upon what the book and the Institute.

Moadim Lesimcha,
Gary

]]> Comment on Take a Moment of Reflection: Pure Courage by Duff Batcheder http://www.guidingchange.org/blog/2012/04/04/take-a-moment-of-reflection-pure-courage/comment-page-1/#comment-3118 Duff Batcheder Thu, 05 Apr 2012 15:56:26 +0000 http://www.guidingchange.org/blog/?p=607#comment-3118 You're absolutely right, Deb, most defense mechanisms can definitely become maladaptive and ultimately reinforce the feelings of vulnerability. I was just pointing out that folks who experience abuse or violence have a deeper challenge in overcoming the emotional aftermath and feelings of vulnerability. You’re absolutely right, Deb, most defense mechanisms can definitely become maladaptive and ultimately reinforce the feelings of vulnerability. I was just pointing out that folks who experience abuse or violence have a deeper challenge in overcoming the emotional aftermath and feelings of vulnerability.

]]> Comment on Take a Moment of Reflection: Pure Courage by Deb http://www.guidingchange.org/blog/2012/04/04/take-a-moment-of-reflection-pure-courage/comment-page-1/#comment-3117 Deb Thu, 05 Apr 2012 15:07:04 +0000 http://www.guidingchange.org/blog/?p=607#comment-3117 Duff, Thanks for your insight and for pointing that out. What I think you are saying is that as a result of abuse, individuals appropriately feel fear and vulnerability. While abuse is happening or likely to happen, that is certainly a time when a shield or any mechanism for defense is appropriate and necessary. And, one of the ways abuse survivors shield themselves is by developing emotional defense mechanisms. However, i think you'd agree that these mechanisms can become maladaptive when the abuse is over by keep individuals from developing and maintaining healthy open relationships. I agree, allowing these defense mechanisms to come down is a challenging and difficult process. Duff,

Thanks for your insight and for pointing that out. What I think you are saying is that as a result of abuse, individuals appropriately feel fear and vulnerability. While abuse is happening or likely to happen, that is certainly a time when a shield or any mechanism for defense is appropriate and necessary.

And, one of the ways abuse survivors shield themselves is by developing emotional defense mechanisms. However, i think you’d agree that these mechanisms can become maladaptive when the abuse is over by keep individuals from developing and maintaining healthy open relationships.

I agree, allowing these defense mechanisms to come down is a challenging and difficult process.

]]> Comment on Take a Moment of Reflection: Pure Courage by Duff Batcheder http://www.guidingchange.org/blog/2012/04/04/take-a-moment-of-reflection-pure-courage/comment-page-1/#comment-3116 Duff Batcheder Thu, 05 Apr 2012 14:49:57 +0000 http://www.guidingchange.org/blog/?p=607#comment-3116 Deb, I think you've touched on a very important topic, which is very misunderstood, particularly (as you indicated) by men. And speaking as a card-carrying guy, I can attest to the liberating value of challenging this emotionally stunting myth. There is one aspect, however, that needs more clarification and that is vulnerability that is born of abuse and/or violence. Growing beyond garden variety "learned" vulnerability is one thing, whereas coming to terms with that feeling that was generated by physical and emotional pain inflicted by others is a different matter. I know you know this, but someone suffering from the latter might read your observation and misinterpret your suggestions as overly simplistic or worse, not appreciating their much deeper struggles. Deb, I think you’ve touched on a very important topic, which is very misunderstood, particularly (as you indicated) by men. And speaking as a card-carrying guy, I can attest to the liberating value of challenging this emotionally stunting myth.

There is one aspect, however, that needs more clarification and that is vulnerability that is born of abuse and/or violence. Growing beyond garden variety “learned” vulnerability is one thing, whereas coming to terms with that feeling that was generated by physical and emotional pain inflicted by others is a different matter. I know you know this, but someone suffering from the latter might read your observation and misinterpret your suggestions as overly simplistic or worse, not appreciating their much deeper struggles.

]]> Comment on Take a Moment of Reflection: Pure Courage by Deb http://www.guidingchange.org/blog/2012/04/04/take-a-moment-of-reflection-pure-courage/comment-page-1/#comment-3115 Deb Thu, 05 Apr 2012 13:15:54 +0000 http://www.guidingchange.org/blog/?p=607#comment-3115 Mr. Determined, You make great points. Being courageous is about moving forward despite how vulnerable we feel. And, it is enormously saddening that we have been taught this myth since we were children. I think the myth is particularly hurtful to men who are made to feel that vulnerability and masculinity are polar opposites when, in fact, they are completely compatible. It takes pure courage to move forward without a heavy shield in front of us. Mr. Determined,

You make great points. Being courageous is about moving forward despite how vulnerable we feel.

And, it is enormously saddening that we have been taught this myth since we were children. I think the myth is particularly hurtful to men who are made to feel that vulnerability and masculinity are polar opposites when, in fact, they are completely compatible. It takes pure courage to move forward without a heavy shield in front of us.

]]> Comment on Take a Moment of Reflection: Pure Courage by MR DETERMINED http://www.guidingchange.org/blog/2012/04/04/take-a-moment-of-reflection-pure-courage/comment-page-1/#comment-3114 MR DETERMINED Thu, 05 Apr 2012 12:52:48 +0000 http://www.guidingchange.org/blog/?p=607#comment-3114 I think what people don't realize is that courage can mean feeling vulnerability. I love your take on this, it's hard to change something you've been taught your whole life but worth it. I think what people don’t realize is that courage can mean feeling vulnerability. I love your take on this, it’s hard to change something you’ve been taught your whole life but worth it.

]]> Comment on Take a Moment of Reflection: Your Internal Wisdom by Deb http://www.guidingchange.org/blog/2012/03/29/take-a-moment-of-reflection-your-internal-wisdom/comment-page-1/#comment-3106 Deb Fri, 30 Mar 2012 13:03:41 +0000 http://www.guidingchange.org/blog/?p=590#comment-3106 Wow Toni, your description of the movie is fabulous! You've given me a whole new way to interpret the poem. Love, Deb Wow Toni, your description of the movie is fabulous! You’ve given me a whole new way to interpret the poem.

Love,

Deb

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